“Understanding Yourself & Others” was the subject of the recent Annual RC Workshop of WBFN. The Representative Council (RC) is the group of leaders and regular volunteers who run our WBFN programs. On March 9, 25 volunteers attended from various working groups and, judging from the laughter and intense atmosphere around the room, everybody enjoyed the event.

Licensed family counselor Chris Wright was brought to the meeting as a facilitator on the subject. Chris was a very entertaining and likeable facilitator. He introduced the esoteric Enneagram system of nine personalities. It holds that we are born as one of nine personality types, which we learn to adapt during our lifetime as we try to fulfill the core needs related to our personality type. These core needs are assumed to be the underlying shaper of all our moods and actions. The philosophy, in brief, is that we can categorize ourselves into one of the nine personalities and thereby learn to understand ourselves and identify others as well, when we learn their personality.

Reflecting on the workshop, the outcome of the day was not so much related to Chris’ introduction to the system, but to what he phrased as—what makes us tick. It may be translated into an awareness geared around what makes us happy, angry, bored, withdrawn etc. and to the awareness of what shapes others’ feelings towards us and things around us, something which demands our full attention in dealing with others as individuals, or in a group dynamic. For example: “Why is it that I feel this is very important and you do not? And why is it that you feel this is so very important, when it is really a trivial matter for me?” These simple questions can be asked every time we encounter problems in our interaction with others, and it will help us move along with and not away from others. Chris also pointed to the interdependency in our efforts to solve conflicts in our daily life. The willingness to meet the other on her terms in order to understand her feelings and her needs. And then to enjoy the same willingness in return. This Chris called the long walk or the “Sun Valley”. It involves a process of getting to and feeling each other’s needs in order to solve a particular conflict. These skills are well-employed between individuals and when discussing the outcome of a meeting, for example.

It was a great and well-organized day, with lots of fun, an excelllent lunch and food for thought to carry home.

Annemarie Brink Olsen