There is an old saying: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” This is not to say people run away from difficult or challenging situations. I prefer to think that the “tough” – especially the women – get organized!

Admit it! You had moments of real panic following 9/11. Along with the rest of us, you probably stockpiled water, instant kao pung chicken, canned tuna and beans in your basement “safe room,” along with a flashlight and extra batteries. If you were like me, you also stuck in a screw top bottle of red wine. Why leave this sweet old world without a final toast?

But now, years after the terrorist attacks in New York and Pennsylvania, the sniper attacks in the Washington suburbs, and heightened threat levels at the World Bank and IMF, it is time for each of us to make a candid assessment of our personal security readiness.

I would not be the first to argue that preparation is the best defense against PANIC. The problem with many well-laid plans is a well-worn cliché: “they often go astray.” Meaning, often no one — not your partner, children, after-school caregiver, nanny, lawyer, neighbors, doctor or even your carpool buddy — have a clue whom to call in even a routine crisis, if they can’t reach you.

Case in point: A few weeks ago, the big yellow bus pulled up across the street to drop off Leila, one of my neighbor’s three children after school. The bus just sat there. After about 10 minutes, being a nosy person, I went out to investigate. I found a classic dilemma: the grandmother, who meets the bus with the regularity of a Swiss watch, was nowhere in sight. I rang the front bell, banged on the back door. Nothing! No response! Even I got worried.

The problem was that even though Leila — a child with severe physical challenges — recognized me, jumping and smiling, school bus drivers in Montgomery County are forbidden to leave a child with anyone who is not on an “authorized” parental list. This policy makes perfect sense. But since I had only one number for the parents’ work, I could not get their verbal permission to let Leila to stay with me.

In the end, she was returned to school to await pickup later. We all have each other’s contact points — but is it really helpful and will it help you or your kin out of unusual situations?

LESSON: In Emergencies “Next of Kin” Needs to be Expanded

Emergencies come in small and large packages; in momentarily chilling moments, or in life-shattering events. They are unpredictable. Here are a few that you may not have thought of:

Your child’s school closes or goes into “lockdown” because of weather emergency, or worse.

In Washington, this could be snow, a violent, power-ending thunderstorm, a sudden tree-splitting wind-shear, tornado or a gun situation. The latter happened recently at Einstein High School. Scores of worried parents gathered outside the Kensington, MD campus, frantic for news on the developing situation inside and the safety of their children. After four tense hours, students were released, without incident. Four students were arrested for bringing loaded guns to school.

What would you do in such a situation? What if you were out of town? Or, if the neighbor where your children normally go after school was out running errands, or otherwise unreachable?

This real life example illustrates the importance of having a plan and SHARING it with school officials, neighbors, carpool buddies, the parents of your kids’ closest friends, work colleagues, etc. Keeping your plan in a locked file cabinet does NOT count!

There is a train derailment in your neighborhood, and hazardous gas escapes. Local officials recommend all residents leave the area for a shelter nearby. You’re stuck in a meeting downtown and your cell is off. Would your child/nanny/partner/neighbor know how best to proceed?

The daycare center your children walk to each day after school closes because the care provider slipped and broke her ankle. What is your backup childcare situation? Do you know the names of the parents in your children’s classroom?

These examples are not meant to frighten anyone. They are meant to remind you that ‘Life Happens” and that sometimes it is untidy. Washington, DC could easily be shutdown due to a jackknifed truck on the Beltway, or a manhole explosion. A subway malfunction might delay your arrival home or your rendezvous with your children.

For all these situations you should have a three-tiered backup network in place. WHY three-tiers? Well, because — just as a school might close early because of snow — a neighbor might be too sick to watch your children until you get home. Or, her car might be in the shop.

We all know who our “Next-of-Kin” are in case we die, or have a medical emergency while traveling outside the US. But, perhaps it is time to expand that definition and get to know our neighbors, and our children’s friends’ parents and teachers. This includes making a note of your adult children’s workplace contact numbers, the resident manager in their college dorm along with the Dean of Students, or other emergency contacts recommended by the university.

As a bonus activity, consider hosting a potluck B-B-Q with your neighbors. Over supper, you could ask who would be willing to share emergency contact information. One home might be designated the “GO TO” spot. It might also make sense to find out who has elderly relatives or infants at home. That way, special arrangements can be made for them in the event of an evacuation.

This list is not to incite panic, but to calm you down. So, breathe deeply, and get busy organizing your network. Once your spouse or kids get wind of your list, they might add their own backup contacts.

In the meantime, pitch out those seven-year old dehydrated meal packets, use the water on your tomato plants (it degrades), recharge or replace your batteries. And drink that wine!

By Joan McQueeney Mitric