“Now Let’s Figure Out Your Relationship” was the subject of the recent Annual RC Workshop of WBFN. The Representative Council (RC) is the group of leaders and regular volunteers who run our WBFN programs. On November 16, 2009 , around 25 volunteers attended from various working groups and everyone seemed really eager to be a part of this interactive workshop and figure out possibilities of working out their day to day relationships with their family, friends and co-workers.

Licensed family counselor Chris Wright was asked again to facilitate the workshop and was really enthusiastic and entertaining. He introduced the esoteric Enneagram system of nine personalities. It holds that we are born as one of nine personality types, which we learn to adapt during our lifetime as we try to fulfill the core needs related to our personality type. These core needs are assumed to be the underlying shaper of all our moods and actions. The philosophy, in brief, is that we can categorize ourselves into one of the nine personalities and thereby learn to understand ourselves and identify others as well, when we learn their personality.

Reflecting on the workshop, the outcome of the day was how to navigate the tricky road of relationships. The workshop made us aware that a little understanding of our own personality types as well as those of others might actually go a long way in making our relationships harmonious and fulfilling. This year the workshop helped us move further in the direction of applying this personality system to our friends and family. This may be translated into an awareness geared around what makes us happy, angry, bored, withdrawn, etc. and to the awareness of what shapes others’ feelings towards us and things around us. For example: “Why is it that I feel this is very important and you do not? And why is it that you feel this is so very important, when it is really a trivial matter for me?” These simple questions can be asked every time we encounter problems in our interaction with others, and it will help us move along with and not away from others. Chris also pointed to the interdependency in our efforts to solve conflicts in our daily life—the willingness to meet others on their terms in order to understand their feelings and needs.

It was a great and well-organized day, with lots of fun, an excelllent lunch and food for thought to carry home.

Vidya Rangan